10 things i would tell my 18 year old self

 

I think we all have at least one thing in our past that we wish we had done differently. That does not mean that it is necessarily the end of the world that we didn’t do it. Simply, sometimes you think you should have started this or that thing when you were younger. Maybe we even shared it with our best friend, between two other topics…

When I find myself with young people (between the age of 18 and 22) – whether in family,with friends or at a party-  I really like to ask them what their future plans are. It is clear that not all young people are inclined to talk about this. And even 90% of the time, they only tell me what they would like to do as a job. I take the opportunity to ask them: and travel you are interested? buy a house? Yes, of course, they’ll answer me. I take the opportunity at that time to talk to them about the things they can start doing now: raising money, planning trips with friends, writing down their dreams and plans for the future.

I was lucky enough to have a mother who always encouraged me in my projects: going to university, being a model, traveling with friends and so on. To this day, she encourages me.

However, there are some cases that I would have liked to have learned earlier as well. I think we always need encouragement whether it’s from a friend, a relative or our partner. At any age. But when you’re young, you need even more. Unfortunately, not all of us have the opportunity to have an encouraging parent.  There are several reasons for this: resources (time, money, education) but also lack of interest and even laziness. We need an experienced adult to turn his attention to us and tell us: do it, face it, try it. Even if he didn’t himself. I would even say especially if he did not. Because the older you get, the more value you give to the things you should have tried or wanted to start earlier in life. Let us pass on the knowledge and/or experience we have (or not) to the young people around us, especially those who are interested. When you have the opportunity to encourage a young person close to us, let’s do it. In the following, I wrote things that I would have liked to have learned earlier but also things that should be taught to the young people around us (including of course, our children).

 

 

It’s okay to fail, it’s proof that we tried

From an early age, we should learn to fail. I think that is the greatest fear of the human being. We want to be successful the first time. The problem is that you rarely succeed the first time you do something. It even takes several times. And when you fail, you have to congratulate yourself. Because we tried. And by trying, we’re already doing more than most people. It is a virtue that we must learn to master rather early in our lives.

 

 

Save money

Most people start working at the age of 16. And the vast majority, spend all their money earned. If there’s one thing I would have loved to have done, it’s to have  money frozen on every paycheck. I bite my fingers for not having done it. Imagine all the money you accumulate after 10, 15, 20 years. It’s something I’ve been teaching my kids since they were little. Put money aside. The family always gives them money every birthday. From time to time, I tell them take a $20 and buy something that tempts you. But the rest, we don’t touch it. One day you will thank me because you will have a good deposit for the purchase of your first home. Saving is something I consider to have learned very late in my life. It was my boyfriend -now husband- who teached me. I should have started earlier! But it’s never too late to get into good habits about money. That said, encourage young people to save money, starting with our children.

 

 

Have a degree

I always knew I wanted to go to college in psychology. But I also knew that if I didn’t go on to graduate school, there wasn’t much career opportunity. I wanted to be a psychologist. But to do that, you have to do a PhD. When I decided not to do one, I found it difficult to find a job related to this field. When a job applied for a bachelor’s degree in psychology, it also required an additional specialization. I was able to get a job at a community center, but they paid the minimum. And that, even with a bachelor’s degree in psychology!

The moral of this story is to tell you: it is clear that it is important to choose something that you like and studies can be very long. But try to choose something that will give you a job afterwards. For those who want to go to university; several baccalaureates are vague: psychology, philosophy. Be aware of these career options before starting studies of this magnitude. Go see a counselor. In some areas, you can meet one for free (up to a certain age).

 

 

Plan trips/road trips with friends and family

If there is one thing that must be done when you are young, is to plan trips with our friends. Whether it’s a small road trip or a trip to the South or Europe. There is no better age, I would even say it is the only one perhaps. When you meet someone (boyfriend/girlfriend), often it will be with him/her whom you will travel with – which is of course very good too.

But in my opinion the best time to travel is when you are single. I’ve always thought about the fact that, there’s a time for everything. And when you’re young (around 20 years old) is the perfect time to enjoy and create beautiful moments that will remain etched in our memories until the end of time. I had this opportunity to travel with my best friend, a few times. My only regret is that I didn’t do it more often. When we remember those moments, especially in front of our children, we tell ourselves how proud we are to have these stories to tell them. And it’s definitely, money well spent. So, young adults, have a travel savings account at all times. I’d also say plan trips with the family if they don’t already do it for you. Depending on the means, a weekend getaway to a new place or contribute and rent a house to 2 or 3 families!

 

 

Take care of your mental health

Our mental health should be our priority in life at all times. Feeling good inside of us is so important. It is when we feel good, that we take better care of our loved ones. Let’s take the time to ask ourselves how we feel.

Let’s be our best friend. Because we are. Let us teach our children that the person they look in the mirror is the person who will follow them for the rest of their lives. We can take care of ourselves in many ways: by exercising, eating well, learning to manage stress well (writing, talking with a friend), developing our self-esteem.

 

 

Be patient and persist

Persistence and patience are two virtues that must be mastered as early as possible in our lives. These are the keys to the success of any project we have. The problem is as soon as a difficulty arises, one backs down and one gives up.

However, we would have to go back to see what we can improve, to change it. Or as soon as an easier path is found there, it is taken. The easiest way is not always the best. But to do this, we must be patient in order to learn at our own pace (which can be more or less slow). I think we’re giving up too quickly. As soon as difficulties arise, you want to let go of everything. So, young and old, be patient and persist in what holds your heart. You will end up seeing results, however minimal they may be at the beginning.

 

Read as much as possible but also on various topics: finance, personal development, fiction

Reading has always been a part of my life. I’m obsessed with books as much personal development as I am with novels. Reading can change our lives: they make us think, they advise us. It’s a wonderful companion. I honestly believe that everyone should read and it should start as soon as possible in our lives.

Read quietly, at your own pace, no matter how fast it is. The reading is tamed. With today’s technology, I understand that we are less and less inclined to take a book, when everything is on our small phone… As a result, nothing can replace the smell, texture and comfort of a good book. I highly recommend it. I have compiled some books that you might be interested in.

 

 

Don’t be afraid to say no

The word no is certainly one of the most difficult words to pronounce. We don’t want to disappoint. We want to please. We want to be accepted. We are human and these feelings are quite normal. But let’s just say it’s not normal to do or say the opposite of what’s bubbling inside us. The word “no” is something we must learn to say it. Let’s teach our children to say it. Let’s make it a priority to teach them that.

 

 

Write in a notebook your dreams and projects

Take a notebook and write inside it, your plans. The things you want to accomplish in your life. Whether it’s in the next year or in 5 years. This will be an excellent guide for you. What we write, is always more likely to come true. And also you’ll see that there are things that we want a lot one year, but the other year, you’re not interested anymore. If you want to know why you need a notebook and a agenda, you should check out my article.

 

 

Learn how to cook

One thing I would have liked to learn is to cook. Not that I necessarily like it, in fact I don’t like much. I just like to cook desserts!

My mother never involved me in the kitchen when I was little. She was busy and I understand that doing things yourself it goes much faster than putting in to show and make a child try! I never anyway, ask my mother to show me. Nonetheless, it’s a regret that I have. I should have asked her or just took the time to observe what she was doing.

Now, in my family, it’s my husband who cooks and he loves it. And when he’s not there, I cook: following a recipe to the letter. But I’m so pocket-sized that if an ingredient is missing, I don’t even make the recipe! I’m too afraid to replace it with another ingredient, and then spoil it. It’s something I try to do differently with my children. We involve them from time to time (not enough!). We often listen to cooking shows (which I never did as a young person) in order to at least make them appreciate food in all his aspects 😉